Little Man Vs. Big Roach

22nd October 2006

Cockroaches really put my "all creatures great and small" creed to the test. ~Astrid Alauda

It was a despicable match of two against four. Oh gosh! Wasn’t it horrendous? Wasn’t it unjust? To place two despicable cockroaches against four terrified souls?

Four emotionally tormented souls were trapped in a little bedroom. Three pairs of eyes were searching the only adult’s face for a solution. Two enemies were laying wait outside the hideout. One of us had to sacrifice.

Peering out of the door cautiously and turning to my left, I could see one of the evil banes jay-walking in my living room, oblivious to the terror it had stirred within us. And turning to my left, in the kitchen, another menace was swishing its devilish feelers tauntingly at me! I could swear that it was smirking at the helplessness in us!

Retreating back into the bedroom, I put on my widest grin and sweetest voice.

“Mervin, can you please help me to get the insecticide from the kitchen?”

“But there’s a cockroach in the kitchen!” he gasped.

I swallowed the lump in my throat and threw him the most pleading look I could manage.

“Alright, alright,” he resigned.

As he stepped out of our hideout, the rest of us gazed after him with a sense of awe. It’s so good to have a man in the house at times like this.

“Mervin, the cockroach in the kitchen is gone,” whispered Angel from the doorway.

“Great! You go on while we keep a lookout for you,” I didn’t know why I was keeping my voice down too.

When Mervin returned with the prized insecticide in his hand, we nearly threw him into the air.

The next major responsibility was mine as I took on the riskiest task of poisoning the enemy in the living room. I aimed at the pest with my deadly weapon and sprayed venom at it mercilessly for five full seconds. The three of us cheered jubilantly as the enemy turned onto its back and kicked its legs frenetically in the air.

Armed with my deadly weapon, I was determined to kill the other devil for its nerve to sneer at me. I looked high and low in the kitchen but it seemed to vanish into thin air.

“Be nice to the poor little fellow who had just lost a partner,” my friend chuckled.

Oh well, I would be benevolent and spare the life of that scoundrel then.

“Er… Mervin, would you kindly help me to remove the dead cockroach from that corner please?”

“Me again!”

“Because you are the bravest, courageous, most experienced…” I cooed.

“Alright, alright…” he conceded.

Isn’t it wonderful to have a man in the house at times like this?

I was simply head over heels with my little man.