Immanuel

God brings men into deep waters, not to drown them, but to cleanse them. ~John Aughey

Yesterday, I told my girlfriend about a weird dream I have and she whipped out her crystal ball,

“Certain days you are just bottom out without a single shred of positive hope in you, both heart and mind laden with woes. But life is funny; there is enough strength to get you going but not immune to the pains.

“Desperate for a safe haven to bury yourself and hide from all the bills, pressure, demands from friends, responsibilities as a mother, daughter, sister, etc…

“I think you have carried too much all by yourself. You can’t see but your shoulders are crumbling under too much weight. Your cheek muscles are weary from too much smiles. You have given too much to everyone, including all the time and energy that you didn’t have. You need a rest.

“Things that should be done by your husband who is permanently overseas, never there when you need him, leaving you to face the much over due bills, creditors, his family, his children, all by yourself.

“You know, you have mutated into a Capricorn yourself. You have endured what other girls in the Zodiac are incapable of facing. Not even me, and I do not have financial woes.

“Gemini. One of you is putting up a brave front to face the world, and the other twin is all a wreck. The one can’t hold on any longer, and you get a catastrophic emotional breakdown. You need to give yourself a break.

“Tears can cleanse your wounds. But I am sorry to tell you life goes on, and we can only hope for scraps of silver linings to make you positive again. To believe that life is worth going on, which truly is, as long as you are recharged.”

Today, I attended a sermon on managing a marriage.

I didn’t know what to feel. I couldn’t explain the dampness that kept clouding my eyes.

I never question God why all these things happen to me. I know God has His purpose for all the things that He does. The only question I asked God is, “What do You want me to do?”

Sometimes I find my answer; sometimes I find that the answers that I thought I had found were not answers.

Sometimes I find my way; sometimes I get lost on the way that I thought I had found.

No matter what, I believe God put us through tests to make us a stronger person.

Even though I may have lost a pillar, I still have three more pillars of strength. Not to mention the dozens of angels always there reaching out for me.

Furthermore, I had re-discovered the greatest pillar which had always been there for me unconditionally.

He is Jehovah-Jireh, Jehovah-Shalom, Jehovah-Rohi and Jehovah-Rophe.

Immanuel.