Mercy Me

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't. ~Author Unknown

The aftermath of too much revelation is a massive roller-coaster ride of emotions.

Flashbacks from the pasts keep haunting me these days.

There were good times, sweet memories.

He was so full of affection. He loved to shower me with gifts and compliments. He tended to my every need and stood up for me all the time. I thought I was the luckiest girl in the world.

And then there were the bad and painful episodes.

The hurt was deep and brutal. It’s like being stabbed by someone whom you have loved and trusted all the while. And when you stared with unbelieving eyes into the eyes still swarming with affection, asking the inevitable “why”, he replied, wielding the bloody knife in his hand,

“I have no other choice.”

Even then, when my faith was so little, I prayed that the wound would heal, and believed that he would love me enough to hear my voice above the devil’s screams. I believed he would change, for he loved me too much to see me hurting.

Yet, the same knife plunged into me time and again. Just when old wounds were healing, new ones were formed.

The final stab was the fatal one – right in my heart. The hole never heals. The bleeding never stops. The hurt never ends. I could not bring myself to believe that he could do such a thing to me. Even when I pleaded with him to protect me, he threw me into the fire and let me fight for my own freedom. That was the last straw.

It was then when I stopped hoping that he will change. It’s not that I did not believe in Him. I just could not trust him anymore.

But I pray; that God will bless me with a generous and gracious heart to let bygones be bygones; that His light will cast those shadows away and help me focus on the present and future.

“Until now you have asked nothing in My name. Ask, and you will receive, that your joy may be full.” John 16:24

A footnote:

Just got a jab of *****cilin from a “white-blouse-angel”. Instant relief! Thanks loads for always being there. *HUGZ*