Storm

God give me the strength to face a fact though it slays me. ~Thomas Huxley

Suddenly the sky was overcast; just like the typical Singapore weather; and the initially fierce sun was enveloped behind dark shadows. From the distant booming of thunder, I knew it's not going to be a light shower. A storm was brewing. I had to be prepared; but with the only refuge trembling vulnerably under the strong gales, I had only my two bare arms to embrace the kids if the storm was to come.

The promise of help was but a feeble one. I could no longer place my trust in him but ironically, he's the only one who could dissolve the storm.

As usual, his promise of return was delayed, again. I had lost count on the number of times his schedule had changed. Anyway, it did not, and will not, affect me anymore. It's the kids who were pinning their hopes for his return time after time when he conveniently gave them his word that pained my heart. Looking at their hopeful eyes, which gradually wavered and became skeptical, I no longer had the energy or desire to put in good words for him. I could only reply their searching eyes with a resigned look on my face and the conspicuous silence that followed. Poor kids. They really didn't deserve this but I was too tired to battle on.

The anticipation of the tempest sent constant shudders down my spine. The struggle to shove the thought behind me at present and keep life normal for the kids was absolutely draining me. At a point of time, I was completely functioning on full auto-pilot, with my brain in deep coma. I hear not, see not, think not and feel not.

Though hopeless, I still hope that his promise will deliver this time; not for my sake, but for the kids’.

Even so, I will not be grateful to him.

I’m cruel.